Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

Wake up.

I open my eyes and look into my father’s as he looks back at me.

I turn around.

Wake up.

Why?

I am taking you somewhere.

I don’t want to go anywhere.

Too bad. You either come with me now, or you go to the crazy bin.

He’s got me by the balls. I hate hospitals.

Fine, give me a minute to get up.

He leaves the light turned on as he walks out of the door and up the stairs.

I put my shoes on before I put my pants on. I would of laughed at myself two years ago.  I despise the fact that I do these things today.

I put on a pair of jeans, a white t shirt, and put my shoes back on.  As I walk out of the downstairs bedroom, I grab my pair of Aviator sunglasses that I have had for two years.

Two years of not looking people in the eye.

I find my dad by the front door.

Let’s go.

We drive down the Toledo, Ohio road. It’s dark. Businesses are still open.  It is 7:45 p.m.

Where are we going?

You will see.

Silence.

We pull into a church. I know where I am.

I really don’t feel comfortable doing this Dad.

Your not supposed to.  Anyway, you make it through this first one, I won’t tell your mom about last night.

He’s got me by the balls.

What do I do?

Go in and tell people about the last 24 hours.

I shut the car door and start walking towards the church.

People tried to shake my hand. I walk past them. 

I walk through a set of double doors. I look to my right; there is a large room with people sitting in chairs. Could be 75 people. Could be 100.

I walked into that room with nothing but my jeans, my t-shirt, and my Aviator sunglasses.

I sit down. I am not going to say anything.

They prey. I am not going to say anything.

They read from their papers. I am not going to say anything.

Does anyone have an issue they would like to discuss.

I am not going to say anything.

Silence.

My name is Chad.

Hi Chad. The response shakes me up.

My father told me to come in and tell you people about the last 24 hours.

I look somewhere other than my feet.

I am 22 years old. I just got off of a Greyhound bus. I’ve lost my fiancé. I’ve lost my car. I’ve lost my apartment. 

In the last seven months I’ve made 70 thousand dollars.

In the last seven months I have lost 80 thousand dollars.  Cocaine and Oxycontin is expensive.

I look back down at my feet.

I tried to kill myself last night by taking a bottle of aspirin.

My hands are shaking.

My father told me to tell you people about the last 24 hours. It was this or the psyche ward.  And I sure as shit am not going there. So here I am.

Silence.